Archive for the ‘death’ Tag

explanation of “the perils of textbook language learning”

The student has studied English language dialogues in textbooks so well that even in a life-or-death situation, the immediate response to “How are you?” is “I’m fine, thank you!” This unfortunate conditioning leads to the student’s demise.


the perils of textbook language learning

中国留学生在国外的高速公路出车祸了,连人带车翻下悬崖,交警赶到后向下喊话:how are you?留学生答:i’m fine,thank you。然后交警走了,留学生就死了.


A Chinese student studying abroad got into an accident on a highway.  The car and those in it fell off a cliff.  A traffic cop arrived as quickly as possible and yelled down “How are you?”  The student replied “I’m fine, thank you.”  Then the traffic cop left and the student died.


车祸, che huo- traffic accident

翻下, fan xia- fall over

悬崖, xuanya- a cliff, an overhang

交警, jiao jing- traffic police


so lucky you could die


Two lovers were going to commit suicide together, but they only had enough money on them to buy one bottle of pesticide, and one bottle would only be enough to kill one person.  However, in the end, they both died.  How was this?

Answer: They purchased the bottle of pesticide and opened it up.  Inside the cap was written “receive one free bottle!”

一对情侣, yi dui(r) qinglv- a couple of lovers

殉情, xun qing- to die for love, ( in this case, “commit suicide together”)

农药, nong yao- fertilizer

瓶盖, ping gai(r)- bottle cap

再来一瓶, zai lai yi ping-  literally, “get another bottle” (in this case, “receive one free bottle”, a promotional contest prize)

playing with worms


One day, a family of earthworms felt bored, so Little Worm cut himself into two sections to go play badminton.  Mommy Worm thought, “That’s not a bad idea,” and cut herself into four sections to go play majiang.  Daddy  Worm thought for a minute, and then cut himself into ground meat.  Mommy Worm cried, “How could you be so stupid? You die if you cut yourself into so many pieces!” Daddy Worm weakly replied, “…I suddenly thought of playing soccer.”

蚯蚓, qiuyin- earthworm

羽毛球, yumaoqiu- badminton

麻将, majiang- majiang

肉末, roumo- ground meat, minced meat

傻, sha- stupid (colloquial)

碎, sui- broken, fragmentary (in this case, “so many pieces”)

虚弱, xuruo- weak, frail