Archive for the ‘mother’ Tag

peeing in six easy steps

小强的妈妈教他撒尿的6步骤:
1。解开裤子
2。拉下裤子
3。把包皮往后推
4。撒尿
5。把包皮往前推
6。提裤子扣好
一天她走过去厕所,听到小强说1,2,3,4,5,6,她觉得自己教得很不错。
第二天她走经过厕所,听到小强很快速地喊道:3-5,3-5,3-5…

 

Little Qiang’s mother taught him the six steps of how to pee:

1. undo pants

2. pull down pants

3. pull foreskin back

4. urinate

5. pull foreskin forward

6. re-button pants

One day, the mother passed by the bathroom and heard Little Qiang saying, “1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6.”  She thought she’d done a good job of teaching.  The next day, she passed by the bathroom, and heard Little Qiang rapidly shouting, “3-5, 3-5, 3-5…”

 

撒尿, sa niao- piss, pee

步骤, bu zhuo- step

包皮, bao pi- foreskin

explanation of “A surprise brother”

The joke itself doesn’t need any real explanation, but there are some notes about translation.  First, the Chinese version of the joke consistently refers to the older woman in the story as “the wife” (妻子) whereas in English, it feels awkward to write “the wife said to the daughter,” so we changed it to “mother” in most cases.  The phrase “小女儿的想法更酷” is a little funny too.  We can’t write “The daughter’s ideas were cooler.”  It doesn’t make sense.  This really means, “The daughter had an even better (cooler, more awesome) idea [than what the mother just suggested].”

A surprise brother

丈夫驻海外公办期间,妻子和四岁的小女儿在家。一天,小女儿跟妻子说:“我想要个小弟弟。”“这是个好主意。”妻子笑着答道。“但是,你不认为应当等你爸爸回来吗?”小女儿的想法更酷,“为什么我们不能给他一个惊喜呢?”

While a husband was doing government work overseas, his wife and four-year old daughter stayed at home.  One day, the daughter said to her mother, “I want a little brother.”  Laughing, the mother responded, “Good idea, but don’t you think we should wait for your father to come home?”  The daughter had an even cooler idea. “Why can’t we give him a surprise?”

驻海外, zhu hai wai- living overseas

公办 , gong ban- government work

更酷, geng ku- even cooler

惊喜, jing xi- a (pleasant) surprise

explanation of “our house’s rat”

This joke doesn’t seem funny in English at all, and after thinking about it for quite a while, I’m not sure there is any way to both properly translate it while keeping it funny.  Translating it any way that allows the reader to quickly understand also cuts down the humor simply because nobody likes having a joke spelled out for them (which is also why our explanatory posts are rarely funny).

Getting back to the joke itself, all you have to keep in mind is that the 药 in 老鼠药, on its own is usually translated as “medicine”.  The child, not knowing that 老鼠药 is actually rat poison, assumes that the mother is trying to cure the rat of some disease by giving it this “medicine”.

our house’s rat

孩子:“妈妈,这是什么?”
妈妈:“这是老鼠药。”
孩子:“妈妈,我们家的老鼠生病了吗?

 

Child: Mommy, what is that?

Mother: That’s rat poison.

Child: Mommy, is our house’s rat sick?

 

老鼠药, lao shu yao- rat poison

生病, sheng bing- to get sick